Everyone has unrealistic expectations of any dynamic (and any relationship for that matter), when it only exists in fantasy. The moment it begins in practice, we are inevitably disappointed, because reality can never precisely match imagination.
Now, I am not talking about soul crushing, complete and utter disappointment, the sort where your expectations and hopes are completely torn down and brutally stomped on. (Although, naturally, that does happen, but it’s not quite the point I’m making here). Just the sort which insidiously creeps into a moment which otherwise would be oh-so-perfect, just because in your head, a little something was different. Sometimes, it isn’t even as if you had a concrete scenario, planned to the last detail – just a general impression that something ought to be just a little more, a little less, a little… Other.
It is something you have to be prepared for when you come to translate fantasy into reality – the two will never align perfectly. But what quite a lot of people fail to appreciate, I think, is that this isn’t a bad thing. Reality has a habit of surprising you, in ways you never could have imagined and, quite frankly, life and kink would be exceedingly dull if things happened exactly as we imagined and planned. Even for us Dominants.
10 thoughts on “Just A Little Expectation”
An interesting observation about how an ideal relationship is often flawed in reality… but do you end it when you realize that…or how do you handle it?
Every aspect of kink in reality is at least a little different to the fantasy of it, but that does not necessarily make it flawed. And every relationship has its challenges. That’s not a reason to end it.
I liked your comment and included it in a post I’m working on. Guys often have this thing for fantasy that keeps them from relating to others fully.
Yes, especially in relation to Dommes. Frequently, male subs forget we’re human too 🙂
My post places the blame on the limited exposure newbie guys have to BDSM because of social taboo. It’s helpful that dominants show their human side to them both privately and publicly in blog postings such as yours.
Sorry, which post? I’d like to have a read 🙂
I have it scheduled to post a few hours later. I’ll send you a link if you don’t see it.
Ah, cool. Thanks
The link to that post is: http://bit.ly/2PEAq1k . I also added a little explanation about domestic service to your post http://bit.ly/2QRJjt8
Reblogged this on dave94015 and commented:
When your fantasy is replaced by reality…are you disappointed? If so, should you look elsewhere?