Silken Claws

Thoughts of a Lifestyle Domme

‘Can I be your sub?’

This particularly inane question comes in two main variants; either in the opening message, or after a few questions about me, with very little effort to engage with my answers.

In short, if you’re asking, then the answer is very probably no.

D/s dynamics develop organically, over time. They take conversation and getting to know one another. There are people I have ‘played’ with repeatedly and would still not call ‘my sub’, because that requires a certain level of intimacy and connexion. Even if I wanted to, I can’t wave a magic wand and generate all of that with someone I have barely talked to, let alone met.

Moreover, the fact that someone wants to submit to me having barely exchanged two sentences shows that either (i) they are desperate and have no sense of self worth or, more usually, (ii) that they have no idea what submission entails and want a role play.

Either way, that generally does not make for a good first impression.


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I’m a lifestyle domme. This is a place for my writing and reflections on kink, lifestyle D/s, and the endless stream of nonsense in my inbox. 

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