Category: BDSM Advice and Education

BDSM Advice and Education

Why ‘Force Me To Submit’ Can Be A Red Flag

‘I need someone to force me to submit’ is yet another sentiment which shows up in my inbox surprisingly often. It has rubbed me the wrong way for as long as I can remember, but I couldn’t put my finger on why. After all, the rhetoric of force weaves itself

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Kink is an umbrella term
BDSM Advice and Education

The Difference Between ‘Kink’ and ‘Fetish’

The words ‘kink’ and ‘fetish’ are often used synonymously. They are however quite distinct. To give you the Cliff Notes – most kinks aren’t fetishes, but fetishes are kinks. When I sat down to this, I found a few conflicting definitions. So, in the interests of clarity, I had a

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BDSM Advice and Education

Why A Sub’s Inexperience Can Be a Red Flag

Inexperienced subs often cite said inexperience as the most significant barrier to finding a dominant. I’ve heard subs compare it to the Catch 22 posed by a lot of entry level jobs – everywhere you can get experience requires you to have experience already. Inexperience undoubtedly can count against a

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photo of spiral white stairs
BDSM Advice and Education

The Sub / Domme Ratio

‘The ratio’ of dommes to subs is a myth. So, why do so many male subs claim that finding a domme is impossible?

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BDSM Advice and Education

Defining 24/7 and TPE

I would describe my dynamic as 24/7 TPE. This is often misunderstood, so I thought I’d attempt a definition.  First things first, it is worth nothing ’24/7′ and ‘TPE’ are two separate (although naturally interlinked) concepts. 24/7 refers to a dynamic in which there is no ‘off switch’. This means

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