BDSM Advice and Education
The Sub / Domme Ratio
‘The ratio’ of dommes to subs is a myth. So, why do so many male subs claim that finding a domme is impossible?
July 8, 2021
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Tag: Submissives
Memories
Making Him Ask for Punishment
Here’s a psychological experiment from fairly early on in our dynamic. ‘Turn your head,’ I said. He stared at me, side eyed and unmoving. I eyed him with mounting disapproval. ‘I’ll give you one more chance. Turn. Your. Head.’ Nothing. He was afraid I would bite him, leaving those blotchy
January 24, 2021
Why I Dislike The ‘Narrative of Punishment’
Amongst the huge volume of badly written, presumptuous mental bio-hazards which end up in my inbox, ‘punish me, Mistress‘ is one which crops up exceedingly often. Every time I open a message like this, even before the exasperation manages to catch up to me, is just the thought ‘for what?!’
December 18, 2019
‘Ask me anything’
I have been answering quite a large volume of messages recently, and I thought I would write some posts on the things which bother me most often, and why. I would think I am not the only Domme who is bothered by these, but your mileage may vary. ‘Ask me
August 11, 2019
Vulnerability
Vulnerability is what, to my mind, defines submission. That is to say, it is the ingredient which elevates a series of acts, be they sexual, or otherwise, from a game to a facet of reality. It is a rather intangible thing and, while this is not my first attempt to
July 31, 2019
Due Deference: ‘Masculinity’ and Approaching a Domme
Having just written about how male submissives frequently sabotage any chance of successfully developing a dynamic with a Domme through ‘pedestalising’ them – approaching them with platitudes about ‘service’, ‘worship’, and whatever else they expect a Domme would want to hear, instead of an actual conversation – I am prompted
December 17, 2018