Many a time when I have mentioned to someone (that someone usually being a potential sub) that I live in a 24/7 dynamic, the conversation has invariably gone something like this:
‘Oh, you have a live-in? What does he do?’
‘Well, he doesn’t do anything else but serve me.’
‘So, he stays at home all day?’
‘Like, in bondage?’
‘No, that would be highly impractical, given he does all the household jobs.’
‘Oh, I’m so jealous, that sounds so hot.’
What they have in mind when they say that, in my experience, is a usually vague fantasy about some permanently leather-clad dominatrix type following them around with a crop whilst they are ordered to do some dusting or something equally inconsequential, before being ‘forced’ to give oral sex. Unfortunately for them, the reality of ‘true’ domestic service is absolutely nothing like that.
The reality, to put it plainly, is rather tedious and mundane. It’s getting up in the morning to be awake before me, and bring me my coffee. It’s spending a good hour every other day getting the foundation out of my make-up brushes. It’s going out with my dogs when it’s freezing, windy and pouring down with rain.
But no matter how tedious and mundane it all is, my pet does these things no matter what because, above all, he wants to please me. He has no expectation of any reward, except for my petting his hair and telling him what a good boy he’s been, because in doing all of those things, his purpose is to make my life better.
And for me, therein lies the value of domestic service because, as nice as it is to have a clean floor and clean dishes, let’s be frank – I could very well do them myself. But the thing is, what my pet does for me on a daily basis goes beyond the practical convenience of it – it’s about the genuine intention to serve me in all he does, and the fact that he puts his service to me ahead of his own wants every single day.
So, when someone tells me ‘that’s so hot’, I tend to just roll my eyes, because to me, their fantasy version of it is so beside the point, I wouldn’t even know where to begin explaining why ‘hot’ is so entirely the wrong word.