‘What appeals to you about being a domme?’

Note: this is about an often asked and annoying question. If you want the answer to why I chose to pursue lifestyle D/s, read this post instead.

This frustration is particularly frequent and frustrating. Why? Simply because question fundamentally misunderstands what D/s is. No one pursues D/s as a lifestyle because they sat down and considered why it would be a good idea.

Do you enjoy being you? What aspects do you most enjoy about being yourself? What do you find compelling about being yourself?

These are at first sight difficult questions, because of their incredible breadth. Everyone enjoys some aspects of their lives and not others. Everyone has better days and worse days, days where they like themselves more or less. There is no way an answer can even be attempted without writing something approaching an essay or three.

My main issue, however is that, if you think about it, they’re pretty much impossible to give any reasonable answer to simply because you have never been anyone else. You have no point of comparison.

Being dominant is part of who and how I am. It is an integral part of me. It’s entwined with how I feel, how I view romantic relationships, what I want from life. In some ways, the ‘pure domme’ version of me – that is, me in space – is the most distilled version of me as a person.

So, in short, this a pointless and unanswerable question. Stop asking it.

Miss Rosalie

Lifestyle Domme & Writer
I'm a lifestyle domme with a 24/7 TPE dynamic. I started this blog to put my perspective, thoughts and experience on lifestyle femdom, D/s, kink and life in general in one handy place. If you like my thoughts, do let me know in the comments and / or follow me on the social media of your choice.

Leave a Reply

  1. It may drive you bananas this question, but the depth of disbelief and wonder is clearly real, given how many people ask it, and how many people think submission is weakness, and so on…in truth it seems there are more misconceptions than there are people who understand, and that seems to me to be not just outside of the community.

Silken Claws.
Welcome to the thoughts of a lifestyle domme - a collection of articles, writing, rambles and otherwise on femdom, power exchange, and kink in general.
© Copyright 2023 Silken Claws.
Please do not use or reproduce any of my work without prior written consent.