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Thoughts of a Lifestyle Domme

I'm a lifestyle domme. These are my thoughts. /fin

Okay, but somewhat more seriously, dominance has been a part of me for as long as I can remember. Long before I really knew what it was. I pursued D/s as soon as I could and now have a 24/7 TPE dynamic . Over the years, I've written articles, guides, created resources and other bits and put them in one place. And you've found it.

Have a browse, have a read and do have fun.

Effective Punishments for Subs: A Comprehensive Guide for BDSM Dynamics

March 16, 2025

A comprehensive guide to effective punishments for subs: from exploring the role of submissive punishment to a step-by-step on how to set effective protocol, this guide covers all the bases.

Maintenance Spanking: Why & How To Add It To Your Relationship

November 14, 2023

A quick guide, covering the FAQs around maintenance spanking in D/s dynamics, including protocols, intensity levels, how to distinguish maintenance and punishment discipline and practical troubleshooting.

flat lay photography of eight coffee latte in mugs on round table

Why Male Chastity Is Not A Femdom Essential

September 27, 2023

Chastity is often framed as a must-have in femdom dynamics. Have a read and delve into why male chastity really isn't a femdom essential.

Punishment vs Funishment – An Important Distinction

July 24, 2023

Distinguishing punishment vs funishment is not just semantics. It's central to clear communication on a topic which is the backbone of power exchange dynamics.

Quick Thoughts

Posts closer to the style of a conventional 'blog' than my usual articles - rough sketches of ideas, posted with minimal editing and review, possibly to be revisited at some later date. Written mostly for my own peace of mind, but feel free to tag along for the ride.

Trust is Not a Binary

July 27, 2025

This is something I have been wanting to get a proper article together on for a while and will probably write up properly at some point, but in the meanwhile,…

A New Format: Shorter Form, Rough Posts

July 27, 2025

I have taken a break from posting for a couple of years, although not from writing itself. I have folders and notebooks full of sketches of thoughts, tangled bits and…

Explore

Why ‘Force Me To Submit’ Can Be A Red Flag

September 19, 2021

‘I need someone to force me to submit’ is yet another sentiment which shows up in my inbox surprisingly often. It has rubbed me the wrong way for as long as I can remember, but I couldn’t put my finger on why. After all, the rhetoric of force weaves itself…

‘What appeals to you about being a domme?’

June 9, 2021

As far as my frequently occurring frustrations go, this one is both particularly frequent and frustrating. Why? Well...

A large number of red flags against the sky as a background - a red flag parade, if you like

Jonah Hill, Boundaries, and ‘Being Controlling’ in a D/s Context

July 10, 2023

A quick topical write up of a conversation I had with a friend about Jonah Hill, boundaries and what it means to be controlling.

RIP ‘Gentle Femdom’, An Outdated Term

February 10, 2022

'Gentle femdom' forces another false dichotomy on female dominance. Here's why we should let the label 'gentle femdom' rest in peace.

Maintenance Spanking: Why & How To Add It To Your Relationship

November 14, 2023

Due Deference: ‘Masculinity’ and Approaching a Domme

December 17, 2018

Having just written about how male submissives frequently sabotage any chance of successfully developing a dynamic with a domme through ‘pedestalising’ them – approaching them with platitudes about ‘service’, ‘worship’, and whatever else they expect a domme would want to hear, instead of an actual conversation – I am prompted…

E-Lust Digest

Thoughts of a Lifestyle Domme

Effective Punishments for Subs: A Comprehensive Guide for BDSM Dynamics

Maintenance Spanking: Why & How To Add It To Your Relationship

Why Male Chastity Is Not A Femdom Essential

Punishment vs Funishment – An Important Distinction

Trust is Not a Binary

A New Format: Shorter Form, Rough Posts

Why ‘Force Me To Submit’ Can Be A Red Flag

‘What appeals to you about being a domme?’

Jonah Hill, Boundaries, and ‘Being Controlling’ in a D/s Context

RIP ‘Gentle Femdom’, An Outdated Term

Maintenance Spanking: Why & How To Add It To Your Relationship

Due Deference: ‘Masculinity’ and Approaching a Domme

E-Lust 167 – Maintenance Spanking, (Mis)reading Dracula and Fucking Machines

E-Lust 166 – Chastity, Multi-Orgasmic Men and AI

E-Lust 164 – Punishment, Personality and Penises

E-Lust 163 – Sadism, Sex Rooms and Steamy Skills for Dirty Talk

Welcome to E-Lust 162 – Protocol, Phone Sex & P-Spot Probe

Snapshot of My Dynamic: Sunday Afternoon Reading

RIP ‘Gentle Femdom’, An Outdated Term

Appearance Is Not The Foundation of Female Dominance

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