RIP ‘Gentle Femdom’, An Outdated Term
'Gentle femdom' forces another false dichotomy on female dominance. Here's why we should let the label 'gentle femdom' rest in peace.
Note: this is about an often asked and annoying question. If you want the answer to why I chose to pursue lifestyle D/s, read this post instead.
This frustration is particularly frequent and frustrating. Why? Simply because question fundamentally misunderstands what D/s is. No one pursues D/s as a lifestyle because they sat down and considered why it would be a good idea.
Do you enjoy being you? What aspects do you most enjoy about being yourself? What do you find compelling about being yourself?
These are at first sight difficult questions, because of their incredible breadth. Everyone enjoys some aspects of their lives and not others. Everyone has better days and worse days, days where they like themselves more or less. There is no way an answer can even be attempted without writing something approaching an essay or three.
My main issue, however is that, if you think about it, they’re pretty much impossible to give any reasonable answer to simply because you have never been anyone else. You have no point of comparison.
Being dominant is part of who and how I am. It is an integral part of me. It’s entwined with how I feel, how I view romantic relationships, what I want from life. In some ways, the ‘pure domme’ version of me – that is, me in space – is the most distilled version of me as a person.
So, in short, this a pointless and unanswerable question. Stop asking it.
girlieboy69 says:
It may drive you bananas this question, but the depth of disbelief and wonder is clearly real, given how many people ask it, and how many people think submission is weakness, and so on…in truth it seems there are more misconceptions than there are people who understand, and that seems to me to be not just outside of the community.